As with all my stories, this one starts out with me as a strong-willed, independent, out-spoken, 8 going on 18, little girl.
My cousin Maggie was making her first communion, and there was a ceremony. I did not want to attend. My parents were obviously going to make me go, but getting me to go to church under any circumstance was a major challenge. I did the usual crying (the tears came at the drop of a hat at that age) and convinced my dad to incorporate something in it for me. I told him I would go and be good if I NEVER had to make my own first communion.
My dad agreed out of frustration. I was really such a hard child to deal with! So bull-headed and always too willing to fight it out so I could get what I wanted.
We went to Maggie's first communion, and I kept pressing the fact that I was going so I would never have to make my own. I was hesitant because I was afraid my dad would go back on his word and force me to make mine regardless.
On that day, we got to the communion late and ended up watching from the church entrance. We never even sat down. As soon as we walked out, I declared my freedom in excitement. "I was good! Ha! Now I NEVER have to make my own first communion! I'M FREE!"
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That was then. I was a bratty (couldn't you tell?), selfish, inconsiderate, scheming, manipulating 8 year old. I fully admit to that.
I couldn't see the significance of Maggie's first communion back then. In fact, I couldn't even see it when I was save 5 long years later at 13.
It has taken me until now to see the significance of that communion my life.
The funny thing is, I really never had a communion ceremony. I got away with a ton of stuff back then, and therefore missed out on a ton of stuff.
I'm still selfish (aren't we all?) but I make a conscious effort not to be a brat as an adult. Just kidding! :)
I was so resistant of God for the first half of my life, and I always look back at this time in amazement of how much i didn't understand! I had no idea what the true meaning and purpose of communion was!
Some of the most significant moments in my lifetime have happened when I was at such a confused, resistant moment in life. Either right then, or sometime later, I always end up seeing how God really worked through me and did a miracle in my unwilling heart. I now appreciate communion, and understand why it's so special. I guess that's just the way He works!
Sydney, thank you so much for participating in my carnival! Happy Easter!
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