STOP!

Sometimes, I just completely exasperate myself.

What do I want out of life? Sometimes, that all get's confused and mixed up in my crazy mind.

What's my problem, and why can't I fix it? These are all things that run through my head.

Today, my friend asked me to go to the zoo with her. I made up a lame excuse, as always, and moved on.

But that little pang of guilt? Oh, it stayed.

Why do I have to make such a big deal about everything? I'm starting to think that all these "big" problems in my life are not even problems at all. They are blessings.

It's all in how you look at it.

I have the sweetest friend ever. Mary Elizabeth and I have been friends for forever. She's amazing.

Yet, I complain when she wants to me hang out with her because I'm just not into it.

I tend to make mountains out of molehills.

I just frustrate myself with my actions and thoughts sometimes. I'd love to just stop freaking out about the littlest of things.

Sometimes, I just wish i were different. I wish I could just get together with my friend, and leave it at that. I wish I could be a more social person. i wish i could be a more perfect. person.

Today, when i got to this point, it FINALLY  hit me.

STOP!

I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm having a panic attack because I can't be the perfect person I think people expect of me.

But that's okay!

I may mot be perfect in my eyes, but I am perfect in someone's eyes. The eye's of my creator.

And that's all that matters.

So I'm done feeling sorry for my imperfect self. I'm going to start rejoicing in this fact.

I am perfectly made, issues and all.

I just can;'t see it, yet.

If the only think I ever accomplish in my lifetime is proving my love to Christ, then so be it. I'm perfectly happy with that!

i'm generally such an upbeat person. I am so tremendously blessed, and I have no reason to be sad or worried!

I've got someone to back me up. Forever.

Remarkable Faith: A Wedding!

Today, I'm participating in Mary from Giving Up On Perfect's Remarkable Faith journey! This week is actually funeral week, but if you will remember, I got that off my chest last week! Now, I get to share a much happier tale of marriage and faith. :)

You have to love weddings, right? Well, no. 

Let me explain. I guess you could call be a very opinionated child. I had my opinions, and I didn't hold back. Emotions on my shirt sleeve.  

Or, in other terms, I was obnoxious! I was very passionate about things and I always stood up for what I thought was right. Not so surprisingly, my right wasn't always right.

My dad has a huge family, (27 grandchildren, 62 great-grandchildren, all from 5 children!) so someone was always getting married. My mom always made a big deal about what we would wear, and I always went off on this huge tangent about how outfits don't matter, the bride and groom won't even remember what we wear, It's not like they will kick us out of the wedding if we are wearing an ugly skirt, etc.

So yes. Not a huge fan.

When I was almost 14, we went to my cousin Bethany's wedding. I did all the grumbling about it, put on a dress, and went. At least it wasn't in a church! (Back then I absolutely hated church, compared to now when I probably love it too much!) It was in a hotel.

We sat down on chairs in this "ball" room, which was way too small for all the people. Bethany is a little eccentric. Always has been! Today though, she looked gorgeous. So elegant in her one shoulder cream dress!

The ceremony wasn't long at all. But it's not the length that matters. It's the authenticity. And let me assure you, out of 15+ weddings in my life, this was the most authentic of all.

I mean, it was like someone had sprayed a bottle of love in there! I don't know how else to describe it. There love for each other was so obvious and real. You could tell it would last a lifetime {It has, so far! 5 years and counting.}.

The thing is, Bethany wasn't a bit religious. It wasn't a religious thing. It was a realization. 

During the entire ceremony, Bethany was laughing. That's her. She wasn't trying to be a formal, "model" bride. She was just trying to be Bethany. To add to the sweetness, Bethany and Andrew wrote their own vows!

And they both cried. Yes, even the guy cried. He barely got through the vows he was crying so hard. Before, I would have seen this as annoying and dramatic {I'm being truthful here!}, but for some reason, I didn't. I just saw it as possibly the sweetest thing ever!

Live. Laugh. Love.

You see, that wedding was perfect to me. Not because everything went flawlessly {Space was a big issue.}, but because it was so real. They were living in that moment, not acting.

So what have I learned from those 2 lovebirds? Well, maybe the little things aren't what matters. It's all in the big picture. Embrace it! So what if their aren't enough tables? Stand up! Dance! LIVE!

For me, I learned that I don't need to point out everyones flaws, and campaign so hard for my own ideas. Sometimes, it's just not necessary. Sometimes, everything just *magically* works out.

With LOVE!!!

Blessings!

Not Missing It!

This year, for Lent, I gave up all drinks besides water. {Seeing as how I'm addicted to tea, this was a challenge for me!} At first I missed drinking tea so badly. I couldn't keep my mind off of it! Plain old unflavored water just couldn't compete with delicious flavorful green tea!

It's been almost 2 weeks now, and I don't really miss tea at all. I know that I'm only drinking water until Easter, so I don't dwell on tea. This little experience has led me to a bigger, much more important question:

What if, instead of a break from drinking tea, you take a break from your relationship with God?

Just a break, right? When it's over, you'll turn right back to Christ and build you relationship back up again.

Only... what if you find that you DON'T miss it? You aren't longing for your relationship with Christ back. You are content to just drift away and take which ever path Satan leads you towards.

Then we have a problem.

Some things that we give up over the course of life {like tea!} are beneficial to us. They improve our lives.

Other things, like Bible reading and our time with the Lord, should not be given up. Ever!

The thing is, that once we get more lenient and stop spending time in the Word, we start to get used to it. It becomes routine for us not to read the Bible. We stop MISSING it.

We should miss it! We should crave every second and delight in all of our precious time building up our relationship in Christ. God's Grace is a free gift, and we should be enjoying that gift our whole lives.

Think about it. Be proactive, so as not to miss out on something great. We don't know how long this journey we call life will last, so we must make each moment count.

What is something you have given up that you really should NOT be missing out on?

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17

Blessings!

Now I Know

Before I discovered A Perfect Lily, I had never really known anyone with down syndrome. I mean, I had seen it or heard about it, but I had never really experienced it. Now, be prepared because I'm not sure how much of an experience mine is, but here goes.

A few days ago, I was at the library and I decided to do the 5:00 Update. I got on A Perfect Lily, and that was when I discovered Artem. I was reading his story, checking the donation totals, and marveling at his beauty when someone passed by my computer. They saw Artem's picture, and said a REALLY hurtful thing about him (I'm not going to share what was said. It was that... wrong.). I didn't respond, and they just kept walking. The comment wasn't directed toward me, but I heard it.

That caused me to really think. Rest assured, I never would have thought what that person did about Artem. But what would I have thought? I tried, (I don't know WHY I tried) but I just couldn't see anything but a beautiful little boy. So sweet, so precious, not a thing bad I can say.

Whoever that person was who commented about Artem, just didn't know. They didn't know that the innocent boy they were looking at was living in a scary orphanage in a foreign country. They didn't know that his Mommy had done some less than honorable things during her pregnancy. They didn't know that if he didn't find a family, this little boy would be placed in a mental institution. They didn't know. 

I know. I know all about it. I check Reece's Rainbow daily, I check just about 237 blogs (exaggeration may or may not be being used here) a day that are written by people who either have kids blessed with UP syndrome, or who are advocating for children without Moomy's and Daddy's on Reece's Rainbow (or both!) 

This one little experience caused me to totally rethink who I am. Because I'm not the same person I was before I discovered the beauty of "UP Syndrome". I'm different. I'm don't want to say better, but I definitely changed. For the Better.

A whole new world was opened up too me. I'm so glad to be a part of that world. So even though I guess I still don't personally know anyone with D.S, I know so much else. I know I'm going to do whatever I possibly can to save some beautiful orphans over in Europe. I know that some people, well they just haven't been touched by the beauty of those lives. I'm praying that they will be.

"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God." - Ezekiel 36:26-28

I'm new in my knowledge.

God Bless,

Sydney