I have this friend named Sierra. She's 11. My sister is 11, so I know a lot of 11 year olds! I've known our friend, Bayleigh, since she was 6 years old! This year, Sierra moved into our area. She has been going to school with my sister, Rachel, and Bayleigh since the beginning of the year (they're in 6th grade).
I always try to be accepting of other people. I really do try! However, I'm human. I mean, there are things about every person that can get on your nerves. That's natural. But, Sierra, (It's not easy to type this...) she just has to be right, and she thinks she knows everything. (There. I sound awful, but I said it!)
A few weeks back, Sierra's cousin was killed in Afghanistan. She missed school for 3 days to go to New Jersey for the funeral. I felt so bad for her. I mean, that would be anyone's automatic reaction, right?
Last Monday Sierra went to school with Rachel and Bayleigh, just like normal. They usually ride the bus, but I was off college/work last Tuesday, so I decided I would drive them Tuesday morning.
When I stepped outside, Bayleigh told me Sierra wasn't coming.
"Why?" I asked.
"She fell off her swing last night and broke both wrists plus her nose."
There it was. That instant response. That, "Oh no, I feel so bad for her!"
That was it. I didn't really even think about Sierra again until the next morning when she wasn't waiting at the bus stop.
"Where is Sierra?" I asked Rachel.
"She's staying home for the rest of the year." (At this point, that's 15 days).
That, "Oh no, I feel so bad for her?" Gone. Replaced with some kind of, "What's her problem? Why does she think she's so special? Other people break their legs and come to school the next day, but all she did was break her wrists and shes staying home all year?!"
Sympathy is one of my weakest areas. Probably THE weakest. Some people have it, some people don't. I don't.
I have those automatic reactions. But I never really feel sympathetic for someone. One of my 4 "life goals" is to be empathetic. To put myself in others places and try to feel for them. Whenever I want to judge someone (not judging is one of my other "life goals") I instead have empathy for them and make a point to think something nice about them.
I kept making a big deal about Sierra. If I'm anything, I'm passionate. Meaning I'll go around for days ranting and raving about something.
I was annoyed with Sierra. I was. I don't exactly know why, but that was definitely the emotion I felt. I should have been being supportive and kind, but instead I was caught up in my annoyance.
Rachel and Bayleigh have been visiting her everyday. Truthfully my first thought about this was, "She can't come over here (to our house) at all?" and Rachel told me, "No. She needs to stay home to have her medicine and keep her arm elevated and everything."
Whatever.
As I got more details, though, I started to have a change of heart. Friends, Sierra has one cast up to the elbow and one up her whole arm. She can't do ANYTHING. Her mom even has to feed her. Her doctor is the one who said she couldn't go to school, but because of this injury she has missed out on state testing. Because of that, she has to have a special tutor come to give her the state tests and help her get the hours of school she needs to move on to 7th grade. On top of that, I recently found out that the tutor isn't coming for 14 days. Everyone else gets out of school in 11 days. This means that sweet Sierra is going to be sitting at home unable to do anything for 2 weeks, and then as so as summer break starts, she's going to be back in school again through her tutor.
How could I be so insensitive?
On the second to last day of school, the sixth grade goes on a trip to Cincinnati. 6am to midnight. That trip was so fun, and so memorable for me. I loved it. When I thought about that, it dawned on me: Sierra is going to miss out on Cincinnati. It turns out, Sierra is getting one of her casts off before the end of school. Meaning she could go back! The thing is, she gets her cast off on the second to last day of school, the same day as the trip to Cincinnati. She is literally just missing out on the trip by hours.
I'm sad for her. This is not what she deserves! I find myself wondering, Why, God?
It's easy to praise Him with everything with life is super fantastic with a cherry on top. When the going gets tough though, are you praising or complaining?
I'm genuinely sorry. I can understand a little bit of how Sierra must be feeling. She needs her friends now more than ever! I'm sorry to say that I was being a horrible friend to her this past week.
"Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act." - Proverbs 24:12
I keep coming back to that. My eyes have been opened. Do I still have this feeling of guilt for the way I thought towards Sierra last week? Absolutely. Before, I thought I wasn't "good" at sympathy. I could just say, "Oh, I guess God doesn't want me to be a sympatheticanymore. Instead I'm asking myself why! I am capable of being an empathetic, and caring person, and I'm going to do it right here and right now. With Sierra.
Thank you, Sierra, for helping me see what I was missing before.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." -Ephesians 4:32
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